The Journey…

I wanna take you on a journey of something I’ve been learning recently. It is probably one of the hardest things I have ever encountered in my relationship with God, but it’s also incredibly important. I want to talk about trusting God.

I recently started studying out God’s plan, learning how to trust God’s plan, discerning God’s plan, and how to know which way to go. Through studying these things out, I came across a bible study online ( https://www.ibelieve.com/faith/i-know-the-plans-i-have-for-you-trusting-god-when-his-plan-is-scary-and-hard.html ) This study transformed the way I was viewing God’s plan and the struggles along the way. I just want to thank the author of this study for sharing her wisdom and what God has taught her in order to help others.

When it comes to plans for my life, I’m sure I’m not alone in wanting to control those plans. It is so hard to relinquish that control when I think I know what is best OR what I really, really want. I mean, what happens when I want something so badly, but it’s not what God wants for me? HELLO THAT’S HARD. BUT, something that the author says here is that “we’ll sense His peace as we release control to Him.” This is far more easily said than done, but deep down I know that it’s worth it. It’s a promise that God will give us peace when we trust Him and that He will guide our paths when we commit our plans to Him (Proverbs 16:3). But again, this requires us committing our plans to God and giving HIM the control. We will not know the outcome or the plan that God has for us, but if we allow Him to guide us, we’ll be walking down the past possible path. It’s hard to not know or have all of the answers, but that’s what trusting God is.

When I don’t feel like my plans are aligning with God I can easily feel confused and I have no idea which way to go. But a verse that she brought to my attention is Isaiah 30:21. Although God isn’t specifically talking to us here, I found this incredibly comforting- “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”” When I give God my plans, He is guiding me- He’s not leabing me floundering, confused at a crossroads. God truly cares about each step I take and He does have amazing plans for me, but I have to trust Him enough to listen.

So what about when I’m trying to trust God, but I’m in the midst of a really hard, really scary place? GOD IS STILL THERE. Sometimes the struggle is part of God’s plan; we don’t know where God is leading us, but maybe the struggle is preparing us for what’s on the other side. Something that really stuck out to me in this study is when the author said, “sometimes we have to stay in the struggle for a while.” OKAY, I’m gonna be honest- I DON’T LIKE THE STRUGGLE. I definitely don’t want to stay in it. But I’m trying to hold onto the truth that God has a purpose for every struggle I’m in. I’m trying to hold onto the truth that struggles CAN be a part of God’s plan NOT the absence of God. But I have to be surrendered even to the parts of the plan that don’t feel good; even to the struggles. God promises that He will never abandon us- even if our own mother and father abandon us, God will continue to hold us tight (Psalm 27:10). God is there in the midst of the struggle, but do we trust Him enough to persevere through it? God does not want us to become discouraged- He wants us to be overcomers. Don’t let the hardships chase away the hope and the goodness that God has for you.

Ultimately God has plans for us that far outweigh anything we could dream up for ourselves. Do we trust and believe that enough to give him the control over our plans even if the road is bumpy? Do we trust God enough to let him lead us down unknown paths? Do we trust God even though we don’t know or understand the plan? I’ll leave you with this final quote from this study-

“We don’t have to know the plan, because God does.”

xoxo,

Lauren Moriah

What I’ve Been Learning During Quarantine

I was reading this plan recently on the YouVersion Bible App and this one particular day there were a few things that stood out to me. Looking back on my notes I couldn’t help but think that some of these things I learned could really apply to the situation we are in right now amidst this COVD-19 crisis.

1. True happiness- it’s not about how you feel.

    This is something that is much easier said than done. So often we can think that our joy or happiness is based around our circumstances, but it isn’t and doesn’t have to be! If we are constantly changing depending on the waves of our emotions, we are opening ourselves up to 1, never truly being content, 2, we are putting ourselves on an emotional roller coaster, and 3, we are not holding to a firm foundation. Our emotions are meant to be more of a gauge not a guide on how to live. Our emotions are ever changing and to live our lives solely on where our emotions lead us is not the most healthy. The truth is, we can still have true joy and peace regardless of the craziness that we may be experiencing in the external world. God offers us true happiness; He will be our rock, our foundation during the the difficult and the beautiful times. With Him as our rock, no matter what, we won’t be shaken! (Psalm 16:8-9) How awesome is that ? Despite the hurt that is going on around the world, we can still remain firm and find hope and joy in Christ. If we strive for this attitude and mindset, we can stay strong and pray for those that are hurting. 

2. Be content with who you are.

    OKAY. So, I know this can be really difficult and I am speaking from experience. In the age of social media it is increasingly easy to compare ourselves to everyone else’s highlight reel; their perfectly curated Instagram page; the amount of likes they receive. It can be so easy to want to become more like those that are around us (physically or through social media). But, we don’t need to feel like we should be more like someone else because we are exactly who we were created to be. In fact, God thinks we are amazing and beautiful the way we are. We were created with so much care and love and we are considered so special. (Psalm 139:13-14) God’s creations are wonderful and if we believe that, and He created us, then we have to believe that we are therefore one of His wonderful works! AND, if that’s not enough, God is AMAZING. And guess what? WE, were created in HIS image! (Genesis 1:27) THAT’S CRAZY! I say all this because during this time of quarantine and social distancing, people are spending A LOT more time on their phones, on social media, and even though we are ALL essentially doing the same thing these days, it can STILL be easy to compare ourselves. I mean, let’s be real, looking at people’s seemingly perfect lives, their beautiful pictures, their perfect quarantine routines, their perfect looking YouTube videos, it is incredibly easy to think, “Wow, why am I not doing that? I feel like a lump compared to them.” BUT DON’T DO IT. You are amazing. Don’t get caought up. Use this time to get closer to God and let Him tell you how amazing you are. Show other people who they are in God’s eyes. Be content with who you are and pray for those that are struggling. 

3. A pure heart needs vulnerability.

    Personally, I am realizing that true vulnerability is a lot harder for me than I thought. Vulnerability is definitely difficult, but actually this time at home has helped me start to open up more to God and to the people I’m with (my family) and it has brought us closer together for sure. I would encourage you to take this time, this stillness to learn what it means to truly be vulnerable and use that with the people you’re quarantined with. See what good this time could produce in your relationship with God, with your family, or your roommates, whoever you’re with. This will help you develop more of a pure heart full of transparancy, but it can also strengthen those bonds with the people you love and your relationship with the most important one- God. This is just one way that this time can actually be used for good things and things that we can take into our lives even after this time ends. Be willing to open yourself up first and foremost to God. Opening up can be terrifying because you no longer feel strong, you may feel very weak. But, when we are weak then God can truly be glorified. When we are weak then God can work. (2 Corinthians 12:8-10) Jesus wants to help us, he wants to be there for us, he wants our raw emotions, our true hearts. (Luke 7:38-50). I think this woman is an incredible example of vulnerability with Jesus; I mean, she was crying and wiping Jesus’ feet with her HAIR.  Jesus knew that this woman had lived a sinful life and still she sought him out and poured out her heart to him in this way. Did he judge her vulnerability or what she had done? No, he acknowledged that this woman was so grateful and emotional because she had been forgiven from so much. But that healing and forgiveness may not have happened if she hadn’t been willing to be that vulnerable with him. Seek him out! God wants to help us and heal us. Lean on Him. Tell Him you’re scared about what’s going on. Tell Him you’re frustrated about being stuck in one place. Tell Him you’re worried. Tell Him what you’d like to gain from this time. Tell Him the things you have always been afraid to express. Tell Him that you would like to learn how to become more vulnerable with those closest to you. Tell Him all of it. Then, I encourage you to be willing to open yourself up to the people you’re with. Have conversations you never would have before.

I hope you’ve enjoyed my quarantine thoughts. Don’t lose heart. And let’s be #quarantinedforChrist

xoxo, Lauren Moriah

 

Just some mental health thoughts

if there’s one thing I’ve learned recently it’s how to stay true to who you are while fighting for who you know you can be. what I mean is being authentic while striving for + pursuing mental health. I’ve often struggled with the idea of mental health + what to share + who to share it with. I do struggle with mental health and I can feel like if I’m not sharing my struggles with people then I’m…

1) not being authentic

2) I’m being secretive/ deceitful

3) I’m being fake

4) I’m favoring the people I do share
with

5) I’m giving into the stigma.The truth is, there’s no perfect way to deal with this or anything else.

This word is not perfect. but like physical health, if mental health is not 100% then we should go after it. we owe it to ourselves+ we deserve to be healthy. In that regard, why should we treat itany differently than physical health ALSO, God doesn’t look down on me because I struggle with mental health. He is not disappointed in me. Although I’d be lying if I saidthat struggling in this area doesn’t ever make me feel like a “bad” Christian or a faithless christian.

IT’S OKAY TO HAVE BAD DAYS.

that’s why we have God. He can comfort us like no human can. can understand us like no human can. can love us like no human can.

Back to what I was saying … so I feel like if I’m not sharing then I’m not being authentic, that I’m being fake, that I’m being selective, and that I’m giving into the stigma. What I’ve come to realize is that I can still be true to who I am without going around proclaiming “I have a mental health disorder!” cause seriously, the world doesn’t have to know. my authenticity is not measured by the amount of people that know my mental health history. me being true to myself can simply mean me going after help + advocating for myself. It’s me fighting for myself. It’s me pursuing my passions. It’s not me sharing with everyone out of guilt. And that’s not fake. It’s protectingyourself in a healthy way. It is most likely not beneficial for every single person you come in contact with to know you have some mental health challenges you’re working
through. you’re just like everyone else, you just may need some extrasupport in some areas to help you be your best. And not everyone has to know. I think it’s important to findyour safe, trusted people, but that does not need to be every friend. Find your safe people and then, only tell people what you’re comfortable telling them. That’s not fake, that’s not favoritism. That’s you taking charge of your health and protecting yourself. Lastly, again, you can choose to share whatever with whoever, but lack of sharing doesn’t therefore equal you adding to the mental health stigma. it’s not your job to eradicate it. If you feel comfortable and called to share your story to the world to help, then go for it, that’s amazing! but the person who feels overwhelmed and scared by that -fear not! your health is exactly that-
YOUR HEALTH.

don’t feel like you owe people anything. And even in your darkest moments, God is there. He will always be there. going through a rough time does not mean you are bad or faithless. It just means you’re in a valley. And
that’s okay. ❤

xoxo,

Lauren Moriah

Just a little self-reflection

today’s been two years since what I deemed “the worst night of my life” to some, that night is nothing more than something that everyone experiences, but to me it was the point that I realized that my life was nowhere near where I wanted it to be and I wasn’t really sure where to go. Today i’ve been reflecting on just how different, crazy different, my life is now and how grateful I am. I can’t believe where and who I used to be. I was miserable, depressed, lonely, lost and I hated who I was. I had no identity. I didn’t know who i was anymore. I had completely lost all sense of who I was. I had spent so much time lost and insecure, hating who I was. Today I was praying and just THANKING God for all he’s done and how he allows us to be different and live different lives. God literally gives me a new start every single day and that is a blessing. My life is so full, it’s completely different, I LOVE who I am and i’m growing and learning everyday to be more like Jesus. I have experienced the most full life, two years ago I never could have imagined that my life would be like this. Life is totally not perfect and it never will be, but I am living my best life. I love that I get to be different, I get to learn and grow, and I have formed so many new relationships. I have learned more about myself in the past two years than I could ever express. My relationships are also better than they have ever been because as I’ve grown I’ve learned how to more effectively relate and communicate. I’ve become more vulnerable and actually dealt with things in my life. I’m grateful for all that I’ve gained I am just blown away and what God can do 🙌🏼❤️

Reliance on …..

If there’s one thing I’ve been learning lately (although let’s be real-I’m learning so much rn), it’s that you can’t rely on people over God. But honestly, it’s SOOOO easy to go to people. People are there- you can see them. and in this age of technology, you can literally talk to someone instantaneously and hear from them. With God, it’s different. We can still go to Him at any instant, but hearing from Him or seeing how He’s working might not be as instant as a text back from your best friend.

It’s incredibly easy to find yourself relying on people and having people be your go to when you’re feeling stuff. Whether that person is your best friend, a guy you like, or even your mom, (I’ve done all of these..), they’re still not God.

By going to these relationships before God, we’re almost placing them ahead of God and trusting them more.

The truth is, it’s comforting to go to people.

And we absolutely neeeed people in our lives, God gives us relationships for a reason.

BUT

We shouldn’t need anyone like we need God.

Our relationship with God should be the most important relationship we have even though it definitely takes more trust and intentionality.

No one can lead us and guide us or even comfort us like God can. He’s the only one who will NEVER leave us.

And what’s more, my relationship with God should be most important and be more than enough for me. This has all caused  me to ask myself- where is my contentment at ? Is my relationship with God enough ?

Philippians 4: 11-13

Bottom line, this is super difficult, but so needed. Relying on God is what is ultimately goin to end up strengthening all of those other relationships anyways. And let me just say that by no means do I have this all figured out- this is a journey. But I’m learning and growing as I go and I am so grateful for the opportunity to change everyday!

 

xoxo,

Lauren Moriah

Loss

‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.‘

–Alfred Lord Tennyson

I’ve probably heard this quote a million times, but to be honest it never really resonated with me- until this year. This year has been an incredibly challenging year- I have seen three people whom I love dearly, pass away within 7 months.

In April I lost my best friend, my partner in crime, my nana.

This woman was hands down one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever met. She is quite honestly probably a huge reason why I even have the faith in God and relationship with God that I do today. We could spend hours upon hours talking about literally ANYTHING. Honestly, a lot of times we would try to solve all the world’s problems 😂 Two of my most favorite things about her are- 1) the fact that she could make me laugh like no other; this woman was hilarious and didn’t even know it and 2) she had this incredible ability to make anyone feel as though they were her best friend; she loved with the love of God. I could talk forever about how much she means to me (I’ll probably write a whole post soon dedicated to her)

In July I lost my great-aunt Joan. She is someone who was like a second mom to my mom. Needless to say, watching my mom lose both her mom and her aunt within four months was so hard. Watching someone you love grieve is incredibly difficult – especially when you’re also feeling the grief yourself. Joan was another truly beautiful soul who always, always, cared for others. We didn’t see her a ton, but she never misses a birthday- she would send a card every single year. She was best known for calling everyone “lovie”. She was such a joy, a beam of light in this dark world.

In October my friends and I lost a soul who was truly taken too soon- our dear friend Sackie. Sackie was without a doubt one of the most determined, loving, caring, intelligent, inspiring, admirable people I have ever come across. On our school’s campus, he was insanely involved. But with that, he formed so many relationships with so many, many people; he touched so many lives. At his memorial, it was so inspiring to hear how so many individuals truly felt individually impacted by Sackie. He his left an incredible legacy for all of us.

With all of this loss, I’ve learned a few things:

1. Grief is definitely not linear

2. I want everyone in my life to truly feel loved and as if they have a relationship with me.

3. I want to go after making more relationships and not getting so lost in my own life.

4. I want to leave an impact on this earth.

5. I want to continue to take time for the things that matter most- both to me and to God.

This isn’t meant to be a downer; as sad as this has all been, I feel so blessed to have had such great love in my life; to have known all three of these absolutely magnificent souls. I love you guys infinitely ❤️

xoxo,

Lauren Moriah

My New Job

I recently (and by recently I mean well over a month ago) posted a selfie on my Instagram with a long and more emotional and sappy post than usual (shameless plug; checkout my insta linked on my home page and about page!)

https://instagram.com/p/BpAfVQXh0Fl/

I (finally) started a new job back in the beginning of September. I am now working full time in an elementary school within their preschool program as a paraprofessional. This school is about an hour long commute away from me, which means I drive two hours a day for work. To some that might seem crazy, but I can honestly say it’s worth it. This job is so much more than just a job to me- it’s something I absolutely love. As far away as it is, and as difficult as it can be at times, I love this job. The kids I work with bring me indescribable joy. I’ve had jobs in the past, but honestly I would always dread going in and I would always leave feeling exhausted and empty. Now, I’m definitely still tired, but I feel so full when I leave.

The story of how I knew this was the job for me is actually pretty cool :

This summer, deer were a huge thing for me; they were something that I totally saw God in. Honestly, I don’t know where this whole thing came from, but it was a really evident thing for me this summer. Anyways, I got the job interview pretty quickly and unexpectedly. So, I’m pulling into the school, which is set back from the road and next to some woods, and as I’m driving in there’s just a deer standing on the sidewalk. Just. standing. there. And that’s when I knew- I knew that after weeks of praying, this job would be a fit for me. In that moment I knew God was saying, “Lauren, you belong here.” So in that moment I decided between me and God that if I was offered the position, I would take it. I went in for the interview, and at the end of the conversation the vice principal offered me the job.

And that’s that!

I’m super duper happy where I am, and I know it’s where God had planned for me to work.

Trust God my peeps🤟🏼✨

xoxo,

Lauren Moriah

Trusting God

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last couple years is that I absolutely have no idea what I’m doing in my own life. When I try to do things my own way, somehow things don’t turn out great. it’s crazy how you can think you know what’s best for your life, but in reality you probably don’t. I mean, how many times have you thought you had a situation allllll figured out only to end up confused as to why it didn’t work out? When we try to take control of our own lives we’re not letting God lead. And when you think about it, why wouldn’t we want God to lead? God only wants the best, most fulfilled, beautiful lives for us.

Jeremiah 29:11

But the thing is, we need to let him give us that kind of life by trusting Him and surrendering control of our lives to Him.

“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16:3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

These are two of my favorite scriptures. It shows that we should give everything (including our plans & desires) to God, but that he really establishes that path. This can be both

comforting and also incredibly difficult. We will never know what God’s answer is going to be. So on the one hand it’s nice to know that the reaaaaal decision making is out of our hands, but on the other hand, God really gets the final say. Let’s just be real- it’s hard to relinquish control of our lives.

But we know that God always has our best interests in mind and that he knows us far more than we even know ourselves. And for that reason, he continues to open and close doors in our lives.

This is especially hard in uncertain seasons of life, but if we allow it to, it can also feel incredibly comforting and loving. God’s got us. Sure I graduated and I have no idea what I’m doing next, but God does. God has incredible plans for me and I need to hold onto that. Trusting God and giving my worries and anxieties to him (1 Peter 5:7) will lead to a Christ-centered life that will be life to the full. God is our greatest adventure partner, let him take you on that adventure!

#beyondblessed

xoxo,

Lauren Moriah

So I graduated college.. Now what?

GUYS. I DID THE THING-  I GRADUATED COLLEGE. 😳

Now, I know what you’re thinking- what are you going to do with your life now? I got news for you, I HAVE NO CLUE. 😁 There is so much pressure to know just exactly what you’re going to do as soon as you graduate college. But I am here to say that I don’t really know what I’m doing.

I graduated from Bridgewater State University on May 12th with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology and a minor in Criminal Justice. Despite having thought about my future for the past five years, I still do not have a clear direction that I’m moving in. I definitely have ideas, but I didn’t graduate and immediately have it all figured out. I’m currently in this place of feeling almost lost. Like I’m doing life wrong because I am literally not doing anything right now.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s totally cool if you don’t have your entire life figured out, or even your next job figured out. Its. Okay.

That being said, I had waaaaaay too much fun taking pictures the day before graduation so obviously I had to include a few 😂

Also, I can’t believe that college is over. That is a time of life that everyone always looks forward to and thinks about, and now it’s behind me. That is just crazy to wrap my head around. But I am so grateful for the experiences I’ve had, the friends I’ve made, the things I’ve learned, and the ways that I’ve grown. Here’s to the next chapter being even better than this one. ✌🏻🤙🏼

(thank you to my AMAZING family for supporting me through this journey. Love you guys!)

 

xoxo,

Lauren Moriah

Where I’ve Been, and What I’ve Learned…

It’s clear that I haven’t been posting for quite some time now. I’ve missed it A TON, but I needed to take some time to figure out life. Life has been nothing short of crazy these past few months. I saw someone very close to me decline and pass away, continued to struggle with undiagnosed health challenges, graduated college, and to be honest life hasn’t really gotten any less complicated. But despite that, I’ve learned a lot.

1. I need to trust God a WHOLEEEEE lot more. and completely.

2. Surrendering and going with the flow is part of life and something I need to learn.

3. I want to become more emotionally strong.

4. Grief is real. and that’s okay.

5. Balance is very important in life- in relationships, in schedules, in everything.

6. Being open and vulnerable with those close, trusted people is invaluable.

7. It’s okay to not have my life plan set up. This uncertain period of life is normal.

8. Never stop trying to grow!

9. Shutting off your emotions is not really the best way to go.

10. You can’t rely on people too much, or more than you’re relying on God.

These are just some things that I’ve learned over the past couple months and I thought I’d share them. I apologize for being absent for so long, but I’m back and the posts will be more regular!

xoxo,

Lauren Moriah